Friday, June 30, 2006

 

It's like what my friend Fred used to say...



All professional baseball players look like cops, but not all cops look like professional baseball players.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

 

Advance # 137 since sending a man to the moon...


Notice to all customers in the 310 area code:

Starting July 26, 2006 all Verizon customers must begin all calls using 1+ area code + number.

Translation:

No more local calls... EVER.

Despite billions of dollars invested over the last decade, the US Telecom Industry advances by making me dial 11 digits instead of 7.

For eternity...

Thanks!

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

 

Top 10 spam subject lines for the week ending 6-24-06


1. Is witchcraft actually good?
2. Need inspiration? Get 10 Christian Ring tones
3. Take just a candy and become ready for 36 hours of love
4. Learn a Language in 10 days
5. Get that Natural Tanned Look with Celladerm
6. Hoodia WILL Kill your Appetite
7. Get It While You Can!! The most potent herb ever discovered is back
8. Become a travel agent in one week
9. Tell us which is your favorite baby formula and you could win
10. Looking for a top online criminal justice universities? You've just found one.

Friday, June 16, 2006

 

Thinking back on Dubai...



My old Brooklyn next door neighbor Randy Dubai once told me the only reason he became a cop was for the free coffee and getting to call waitresses by their first name.

Monday, June 12, 2006

 

Just throw a rock...


If you're opening a restaurant on the West Side of Los Angeles, three things NOT to include:

Plasma flat screen TV

Fried Calamari

The music of the Gypsy Kings

Friday, June 09, 2006

 

Only one barber in Virgie, Kentucky...


Thursday, June 08, 2006

 

Blake Miller - Virgie, Kentucky...


 

Ladies and Gentleman, Miss Linda Ronstadt...


Tuesday, June 06, 2006

 

"You done paid to see my little Shiloh, yet?"...


HOLLYWOOD - Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have sold the first pictures of their new baby, Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt for over $4 million, but the prized photos have apparently been leaked on the Internet sources say.

People magazine has outbid all other US weekly tabloids for $ 4.1 million to land the Angelina Jolie- Brad Pitt baby Shiloh pictures.

All the weekly magazine editors were summoned to the offices of the Getty photo agency at Canal and Varick late Saturday night. "We were sequestered into separate and un-air-conditioned offices," said one. "The photos were shown to us around 10 p.m. to midnight, and then we had to submit bids by 6 a.m. Sunday morning. No one got any sleep at all, as it was a manic game of phone-tag to top each other's bids. I'm convinced it was Brangie's revenge on the weekly magazines."

Hello magazine from the UK also snatched up rights to the photos. The Issue 922 of HELLO! carries gorgeous, exclusive pictures of the Hollywood couple and their baby girl on sale from Thursday, June 8

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