Friday, July 29, 2005


Cash sets out to quell Snoop's new found paranoia


Thanks for all the kind words. All the failed bombing suspects are now in custody.

From our old assignments in pirate plagued third world South American countries, to Taliban snipers in the icy mountain pass roads of Tennessee; you have always been there. Thank you.

As for now, I'm off to LA. It seems Snoop Dog has some paranoia that needs tending to.

Since his divorce, he hasn't been too trusting of others. Long story short, there's a good chance his compound's been bugged. I'm sure it's nothing and it's easy cash. But you never know...

I may be off to Rome on Monday depending on how things go.

Miss you,


Wednesday, July 27, 2005


Waiting on his Ticket to Ride....


Now that Omar has been apprehended, my time here is nearly over.

Late yesterday after a break in the bombing case, I finally had the opportunity to blow off some steam. Wouldn’t you know it, tragedy strikes again right in front of my face.

After a few drinks at the hotel, I stumble over to the Leed's Warehouse Club to listen to music. I wasn't there five minutes, when the lead singer of this ska band dies on stage after an acrobatic leap went tragically wrong. The dude tried to grab the lighting rig hanging from one of the venue's wooden beams before losing his grip and plunging to the wooden floor headfirst.

There goes my night.

Numb from all the developments, I’ve taken refuge at a nearby café to count my blessings and await my orders. Human life is so very fragile.

Hope you’re good. Still basking in Tahitian sun?

Cash Frock.

Monday, July 25, 2005


Mildred provides some intel...


Muktar Said Ibraihim? What a lump. I can't forget that doughy dope face. Ibrahim was staying at the Hyatt in Bali this past May scooping out potential targets. He got nervous and left town within a day or so. He used the name "Larry" and told my sources he was a car collector venture capitalist from Los Angeles. He stayed in Bali just long enough to get an over priced hooker from the hotel, gorge on Ben and Jerry's ice-cream (our records indicate he bought nearly 3 gallons) and lose his cell phone. What kind of terrorist dope loses his cell phone?

Yasin Hassan Omar, though bearing an uncanny resemblance to Koby Bryant, is about as far removed from celebrity athletics as you can get. We tracked him down at a monster truck show in Tacoma seven months ago. His mission was to blow up the second biggest wood structure in the United States (The Tacoma Dome), but got jumpy with all the loud noise.

The guy in the New York Sweatshirt was known to frequent a House of Blues in Tampa. The wait staff all hated him. Mindy the bartender said he would hold the bar hostage with his boring "New York is so great" stories until people would run for the door screaming. My friend Sal who runs the sound system told me he wouldn't shut up about how great New York was. "If he likes it so much, why the fuck is he here?" I have no freakin idea why he was in Tampa. He was able to convince the House of Blues somehow that HE worked for the FBI. Go bite on that one.

Hang in there Cash, I know you are busy. If I can do anything just let me know.


Thursday, July 21, 2005


Cash high tails it to London after another series of bombings…

Looks like no Tahiti after the turn of events this week.

Boss has me shacked up at the Gallery Hotel across from the Natural History Museum. After the shooting yesterday, fear continues to plague the city. I’m anticipating looting if things don’t cool down. Arabs continue to stick out like a group of 70-year-old black women at a ZZ Top concert.

Despite all this, London is still an okay town. What they include in the London Lonely Planet travel guide need not apply. Bars stay open all night and there is delicious grub to be had.
The only intelligence I uncovered and confirmed for the CIA today involved Yogurt. You may have already heard the rumor. Lots of French tourist in Tahiti no?
Danone, the French food company is the target of a planned takeover bid by PepsiCo Inc. It reeks of an American coup d'etat as Middle East payback continues to rear it's ugly head. My key source contacts say the French aren't going down without a fight. Since Bastille Day, several agrarian uprisings have occurred, transforming many wine valleys in the south and central regions into miniature Al Queda camps.

Terrorists with berets is essentially what we're talking about.

I'll keep you posted, because I suspect Boss wants me to head to the Rhone Valley of France next week. I'm going to have to raise my price or take up golf because this post Saddam Hussein world of espionage is NOT for me.

It's a violent and complicated world we live in.

Hope to see you soon.


Cash Frock

Tuesday, July 19, 2005


Cash reflects on Leeds...


Here's where I've been staying in Leeds while rounding up bomb suspects. I wasn't in London but for a few short hours. So sorry we missed each other.
The Merrion hotel is decent though it doesn't get HBO and the sprinklers kick on at 5 AM and wake me every freakin' morning. Generally speaking, Leeds resembles any typical Archie Bunker river city in the U.S.(take away the soccer and tea). If you mentioned either tea or soccer in the U.S. under certain conditions, you're bound to get a beating.

Watched a show last night on Serial Killers and Jack the Ripper, proceeded by a show called "Fight for Fame." I'm not sure if they were related, but both held my attention enough to tolerate the commercials.

I'll try and look into Tahiti flights tonight.

Cash Frock


Mildred enjoys a low key assignment in Tahiti...


I’m tracking a cell in Tahiti this week, but so far things have been quiet. When things wrap up in Leeds, try and fly out.

There’s a physiatrist on the Island of Morea I need to speak with tomorrow about "suspicious activity” at a nearby pineapple plant, but otherwise all is quiet

Boss has me scheduled to snoop around Aruba next Wed, but until then, I’m free...

Miss you


Friday, July 15, 2005


Cash helps out on a new assignment...


Just FYI regarding your Department of Homeland secruity assignment, Tom was a high school flunky that spent a year at Saint X Catholic High School in Louisville Kentucky. If you need to go check on his records, just give them a call. Across the street from the high school is a Tom Cruise living museum that's worth checking out.

Let me know if you need anything else.

Missing you...


Thursday, July 14, 2005

When did,
"Brad Pitt gets viral meningitis…"

Become a euphemism for:
"Jolie caught something horrid from Billy Bob's wild Arkansas past?"

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Sergio's ex-wife Melissa showed up in the paper again...


Tuesday, July 12, 2005


When did the phrase “Wait till you have kids...” become a euphemism for “one day you’ll get yours motherfucker…”?

-Colonel Sanders-

Monday, July 11, 2005


Cash's last assignment before hanging up the gloves..

Thought you'd appreciate the picture. The assignment seems like just yesterday. What the hell did I know about exposing Marion Berry's crack cocaine problem to the FBI? I was just a kid for godsake. From what I recall, I think I ended up blowing the entire assignment money on a three week crystal meth binge out in San Bernadino. How's that for irony?

Cash Frock -

Thursday, July 07, 2005


Cash jumps on the first flight to London


Heard the news on BBC radio this morning. I’m assuming Boss has you in London by now. I’ll try and get the first flight out of L.A. this afternoon. I’d like to fly into Heathrow if all possible.

We went to Lucha Va-Voom last night in Downey. Burlesque + Mexican Wrestling = Magic. Basically, it's the new entertainment phenomenon that combines classic Mexican masked wrestling with the antics of rowdy, randy Rumberas (burlesque girls). Bobcat Goldwait warmed up the crowd with 10 minutes of stand up. Then it was on to the main event: masked Mexican midget wrestling. I nodded out after the third round and ended up taking a limo back to the Furama hotel with Goldwait around 1AM. Bob was pretty beat, and went to bed after a quick night cap in the lobby.

Anyhow, need to book a flight. See you in London.

All my love,

Cash Frock

Does the bombing makes Ms Miller a little more prone to squealing? I'm keeping my fingers crossed and thinking of you.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005


Mildred gets orders to look after Dr. Ralph Stanley


I was ten miles past Carrolton Kentucky when I got the call from boss to report immediately to a hospital outside Nashville where Bluegrass legend Ralph Stanley was recovering from triple bypass surgery. Boss indicated some chatter from an Al Queda cell out of Murfreesboro while the latest intelligence continues to indicate American icons at high risk.

Dr Stanley is recovering fine and has even resumed daily walks. I guess triple bypass ain't what it used to be. No activity around the Stanley home except a few hippies from Roanoke on a final pilgrimage before entering Hampshire College in the fall.

I've been staying in the garage of Stanley's publicist, Ron Sendoff. Ron's been a gracious host and his wife Isabelle can cook like nobody's business. Last night we hung out in the town square to watch fireworks and indulge in Isabelle's down home southern cooking. If not for a few hours hunting down potential terrorist threats, I've essentially been living in a Thornton Wilder play all week.

Despite the dreamy small town arrangements, I feel I'm in danger of wearing out my welcome. As soon as I get the clear sign from Headquarters I'll take the first flight out of Nashville.

I know this international spy business has prevented us from spending quality time together and for that I'm sorry.

Looking forward to seeing you soon. Please try and write. I haven't heard from you since Ohio.


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