Sunday, July 30, 2006


Cash makes a career move...


I've decided to make a career move. Usually I strive for jobs which have a positive impact on people's lives. But after Falluja and most recently Beirut, I just want a job that will benefit ME. So, starting Wednesday I officially start my first day as assistant parking garage attendant at the Howard Hughes shopping Center in Los Angeles.

Some people think only an idiot would elect to be a parking attendant. But let me tell you, there's a vast difference between a parking lot attendant and a parking garage attendant. I prefer the parking garage attendant. Granted you're trading fumes for shade, but what job isn't if you really think about it.

How's this for a job description?

You sit in a booth.
People drive up to you and give you cash.
You give them a ticket a receipt for their cash.

Phrases I will probably need to know with my job include:

"Sorry sir, we don't take debit cards…"

"I'll have to ask you to turn around mam…"

"They have great sushi if you're in the mood…"

"Take the money. Just take all of it."

That's it. That's the entire job. Compensation is minimal on paper, but skimming is surely built in. Two dollars a car, 100,000 cars in a day. That's $200,000 cash just from parking. Now who's an idiot? Besides..

8 things I can do while simultaneously working as assistant parking garage attendant:
1. Catch up on novels from old college reading list.
2. Learn how to text message
3. Actually, text message (verb)
4. Learn how to fill out my taxes so I don't have to pay an accountant next time.
5. Solve those Sudoku puzzles everyone raves about…
6. Learn Chinese
7. Figure out how to use an IPOD
8. Yoga

Anyhow, say hello to Tel Aviv for me. I'll let you know how my first does goes. Wish me luck.


Cash Frock.

Thursday, July 27, 2006


What ever became of Rafe?

I knew this dude from Greenpoint named Rafe McLaughlin who lived in a five story walk-up overlooking the East River. Rafe used to moonlight for both the Daily News and the New York Post, playing the acting role of the "really upset stock broker."

The business editors from both the papers couldn't get enough of him. For some reason Rafe's talent for looking completely defeated by the stock market sold papers.

After showing off his disgruntled and defeated mug for the photographers, Rafe usually could be found at the Tribecca Bar and Grill, nursing Vodka and Tonics with editors from the Daily News.

Friday, July 21, 2006


When Senator's get involved....

U.S. Sen. Barbara Boxer on Thursday demanded that federal officials investigate and fix an equipment malfunction that sparked a two-hour power outage at a regional air traffic control facility earlier this week, leaving controllers briefly unable to see or talk with pilots. The LA Times today reports that controllers lost radio communication with pilots for 15 minutes and that radar scopes were down for two hours.

In a letter to Federal Aviation Administrator Marion Blakey, Boxer urged the agency to figure out WHY a surge-protection system caused backup generators to fail, bringing down all equipment at the Palmdale center Tuesday evening.

Backup generators at the center kicked on immediately after a truck downed power lines about 4:20 p.m. Nearly 75 minutes later, radio and radar systems died when a system designed to protect backup generators from power spikes failed. Power was restored at 7:30 p.m. The agency said no planes came too close to one another during the outage.

The incident snarled air traffic across the country, delaying 348 flights and stranding 25,000 passengers at Los Angeles International Airport alone. Controllers at the Palmdale center direct commercial flights over Southern California and much of Arizona and Nevada as the planes travel at high altitudes between airports.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006


Well now I feel better....

Around 10PM last night, air traffic resumed at LAX.

The associated press pegged the cause on a Palm Dale resident who crashed his car into a light pole.

The story has now been retracted.

No news source this evening will confirm the cause.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006


Guess all that homeland security stuff is finally paying off….

Around 6 PM this evening, a power outage at a radar facility cut communications in and out of Southern California airports, according to the Federal Aviation Administration. You can hear a pin drop in Playa Del Rey tonight. Deadcalm. No 747 Roar...complete silence.

Allen Kenitzer, a regional spokesman for the FAA said, "We lost everything. We lost all power to phone lines, computers, everything… the outage could potentially affect air traffic nationwide…some planes were able to land because smaller facilities were helping to communicate with them."

The outage at the Los Angeles Air Route Traffic Control Center was reported around 6 p.m., Kenitzer said, and the cause was not known.

The center is located in the high desert near Palmdale and handles high-altitude aircraft in Southern California and parts of Arizona, Nevada and Utah.

7:30 PM - Still no planes.

Sunday, July 16, 2006


It's like what my friend Fred used to say...

Some of the worst atrocities committed on the public are contained in asterisks that read: "Please refer to the accompanying notes which are an integral part of these unaudited condensed consolidated financial statements."

Thursday, July 13, 2006


Everyone can change...

Mr. T shed the piles of gold chains that were his signature look after witnessing the destruction from Hurricane Katrina.

"As a spiritual man, I felt it would be a sin against my God for me to wear all that gold again because I spent a lot of time with the less fortunate," the actor said Thursday at the Television Critics Association's summer meeting.

Friday, July 07, 2006


The summer desert...


The fires have officially started out West.

TV blames the current blaze on bottle rocket fanatic teenagers outside Barstow.

As for me...

It was suppose to be two beers and a salad.

Instead it ended up being three beers and nachos.

Hope the summer is treating you well.

All my love from the Inland Empire,


Mariott Hotel
Ontario, California

Wednesday, July 05, 2006


Kenneth Lee Lay (4/15/42 – 7/5/06)

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night...

-Dylan Thomas-

Monday, July 03, 2006


What people in Palos Verdes do when they're not watching TV...

With the now jumbled Mexican elections and the flawed direction of U.S foreign policy, Jacqueline put it upon herself to do her part.

That evening, Law and Order SVU and Grey's Anatomy were sacrificed for uninterrupted concentration, as she placed an ad in the LA Times which read:

"Wanted: Former Home depot migrant laborer for garden services as well as filing, bill paying and the ability to navigate through Microsoft Excel. Comfortable enabling macros a plus."

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