Tuesday, November 29, 2005


The Internet Saves New Orleans ...

Dear New Orleans,

Congrats on Launching a Free Wireless System to Lure People Back into the Big Easy. Addressing the city’s fundamental needs is crucial in any reconstruction and you have honed in on one of it's most crucial priorities. There’s nothing the displaced people of New Orleans need more than access to the Internet. Food and Shelter are for lazy people.

In the same spirit, I’ve decided to invite all my fanatical USC and UCLA college football fans over to the house this Saturday afternoon to watch a Murder She Wrote TV Marathon on PAX. Should prove fruitful.
Warmest Regards,
Cash Frock

Monday, November 28, 2005


Black Friday....?

Black Friday -- the day that generally kicks off the holiday shopping season -- started off highly promotional this year.

In an effort to engage in consumer confidence, the New York Times (along with every local news segment over the four day holiday) provided the above caption while reporting on holiday consumer spending.

Was this term used at all last holiday season?

Electronics retailers and Wal-Mart Stores Inc. were the early winners while some apparel chains faltered as the U.S. holiday shopping season started with a mixed Thanksgiving weekend, analysts said on Monday.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005


Shortest Short Story ever...

"For Sale. Baby shoes. Never worn."

Thursday, November 17, 2005


Can't anyone get it right?

Scarface ...

Golden Girls ...

CSI Miami...

Miami Vice..

Why is Miami so hard to get right?

Tuesday, November 15, 2005


Why are the Walls in Beverly Hills So High?

Quite soon the string of a tea bag may be precious,
And the scrap of wick between new candles. We’ll save seeds,
Burn high heels; pet stores will be among the first to close.
We’ll have the Ford Muhammad, the Pontiac Mufti;
In the schools we’ll teach new mantras of denial
That well-paid smilers were drafting today in think tanks.
The train of Chinese miners pulls into the board meeting;
Butchered villagers wander onto the golf course.
Why are the walls in Beverly Hills so high?
On the conference table during third shift, Maria
Finds coffee leftover in Styrofoam cups, dark and cold
As the stains in our sky above the Mall on Christmas morn.
A suit of armor used to cost more than a farm.
Men from Africa built Jefferson’s Monticello.
Is the slave owner terrified of loneliness?
Thor, are you terrified of scraps of string and wick –
Or that maybe all this may be part of a new story,
Like that night’s-worth of lamp oil burning for eight nights?


Thursday, November 03, 2005


Dr. Don and the Love Dogs

In Loving Memory of Don Allen Oswald:

January 2, 1950 - November 3rd, 2005


Police State sustains it's control over majority of TV Viewers…

For the week ending 10/30/05, the Fox T.V. show, COPS, scored a 5.40 and beat out the following shows according to Nielsen Media Reseach:

• Everybody hates Chris.
• Desperate Housewives (Sat.)
• Law & Order: SVU (Sat.)
• Bernie Mac
• Malcolm in the Middle

Eat your hearts out Critically Acclaimed Critics…

Cops placed 79th out of 119 prime time television shows complied by Nielsen Media Research. They are based on the average number of people who watched a program from START to FINISH. Nielson estimates there are 280.5 million potential viewers in the US age 2 and older.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005


Deconstruct this...

The primary driver of performance was a significant decline in attendance (15.3% domestically and 14.7% internationally) due to poor film product. This decline in attendance had a negative impact on concession sales. Increases in average ticket prices (3.2% domestically and 5.8% internationally) and average concessions per patron (6.6% domestically and 10.1% internationally) were not sufficient to offset negative attendance trends.


FAT people are paying MORE money to see WORSE movies.

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