Saturday, January 22, 2005

 

Cool things about a Nanny..

Once only essential for Beverly Hills pill-popping alcoholic movie star Moms from the 1970s, Nanny's have become the ideal parenting model for 21-century modern living. It is not enough to have a day care. It is not enough that the mother only works part time. Today, it is imperative that the child be left with an underpaid and socially under represented Nanny.

Ten cool things about a Nanny:

• Without a Nanny odds increase that your child will self-destruct before social security benefits kick in.

• If the kid gets into Yale, he or she will have trouble relating to all their peers who were raised by a nanny. They will quickly default to the status of outcast and drop out by second semester. Most turn to Oxy Codeine.

• The Nanny is like a private company that focuses on the bottom line efficiency of the child. The mere parent is a public company, always having to reacting to the ridiculous concerns of their kids. The Nanny has no shareholders.

• Without a Nanny, kids are merely repeating the failing of their parents.

• Nanny's don't divorce. The worst thing that can happen is that the Nanny dies or the parents just simply run out of money to pay for the Nanny.

• Nanny Cam! The opportunity for parents to pop open a cocktail from the mini-bar of a Hyatt resort on another continent, sink into the Japanese modern living lazy boy and via satellite-feed, voyeur their kid being raised by a total stranger. !

• Nanny's speak with a foreign accent.

• Nanny's are often illegal and can be paid under the table.

• Unlike a mere Babysitter, a Nanny can live in the home, which prevents a lot of driving around for the parent.

• A Nanny that does live off site often lives in the Nanny District. The Nanny District is often located near highways, 24 hour drugstores and schools.

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