Monday, June 13, 2005

 

It's the Ritalin talking…

Cash,

I've been walking on eggshells all week up here in Westchester. Needless to say I'm stuck with a roommate named Lillian at the Westchester youth hostile. As a result of her hyper active tendencies I've retreated to playing bridge at the local country club to pass time. You wouldn't believe the bridge players here. They like their gin, love to speculate on Martha Stewart, and only drive Cadillacs.

Lillian's most famous contribution to society was founding the "I'm addicted To My Child's Ritalin Anonymous" Westchester Support Group (commonly referred to as IATMCRA).

Best friend and bridge teammate Fran McAllister recalls that before (IATMCRA) Lillian was nothing short of a lethargic wallowing slob. Since the Ritalin took hold, apparently she's a completely different person.

Aside from her family leaving town and leaving her destitute, she really seems to be taking it all quite well. My only major peeve is that she tends to change the subject 20 times in a 5-minute conversation while continuing to vacuum the entire 40 x 80 double suite we share. Sometimes, she'll start talking about something as benign as dishwashing soap and before you know it, she splinters off into a lecture on the historically violent "form over function" feud in coin design that plagued pre-European Union Europe in 1980s.

Since I've been staying with her, usally the Ritalin wears off around 10PM, just as Knot's Landing reruns come on TV. Winding down for Lillian entails ranting off countless statistics on crimes and resolving closure on any fixation she started that day (like when "pilates" officially became a word).

Many nights, the evening settles with her conspiracy theory rant involving Sunday paper coupons. "Contrary to what most women think in Westchester, coupons were designed for people to loose money." She has gloated this twice already this week and it's only Tuesday. Sometimes the rants and tangents go on for hours and keeps me from sleeping. The skinny is that I'm tired, and eager to get out of the roommate situation. I look forward to being back in LA at the tail end of June gloom. How responsive was Channel 7 to your letter?

Mildred

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