Daily Theory on Daily Theory

Cash,

The night Ariel Sharon's condition takes a turn for the worse, Lindsey Lohan decides to drop by my freakin' hotel room. I would have kicked her out, but she was red-eyed and bloated and Tel Aviv can be a rough place under these conditions (especially tonight).

From the moment she banged on the door she was hysterical, whimpering on and on about not remembering exactly WHEN or HOW she became a celebrity. I told her the stork story, put a blanket on her and heated up some tomato soup. Shortly after she started acting like a real person again.

Despite Sharon's grave state creating a tense cloud over the city, Lindsey managed to muster some joy over making this month's cover of Vanity Fair. Celebrities are good that way. In the world's darkest hour they can always turn inward to at least find something redeeming about themselves.

Last I checked she slipped off to sleep watching the Rose Bowl.

I told her we'd talk about it all in the morning.

For now.

Love
Mildred.