Saturday, December 30, 2006

 

Hedge Fund Manager still on the loose....


Hedge Fund manager Johnny McManus is still on the loose after committing armed robbery at a Brooklyn bodega yesterday. McManus was last seen by neighbors leaving his South Hampton home at 4AM for Manhattan on what many experts predicted would be the heaviest trading day of the year. Familiar patrons report seeing McManus sitting alone at Le Cirquec two hours after the opening bell, three martinis deep into lunch grumbling how the market was being controlled by Argentinean mobsters. Half way through martini number 4, La Cirquec maitre de Jean Debois assisted a disheveled McManus into a downtown taxi. Several witnesses outside the Madison Avenue restaurant said McManus was shouting to no one in particular how he had to "get back in the game" before the market closed.

Minutes following the closing bell, the 76th Brooklyn Police Precinct of Redhook was called to investigate a robbery on Atlantic Avenue. A man fitting the description of McManus stormed the convenient store dressed in Brooks Brothers tweed clutching a FAO Schwarz bag and 9mm Glock 17. Witnesses to the robbery report that McManus demanded a bottle of scotch, all the twenties in the register and a diet coke with lemon.

Fund manager and wife of the suspect, Jennifer McManus, was in London at the time of the robbery and advised reporters to direct all questions to either her lawyer or her nanny. Neither could be located for comment.

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